One year closer to death

As the clock hits midnight, the greetings start to pour in. Everyone I know, friends, family, and loved ones wishing me a “happy birthday”.

While I appreciate the gesture, and I know my environment teaches me to celebrate this day, I can’t help myself from thinking about my inevitable end, me being one year closer to my home in the ground. What have I accomplished in this past year? What mistakes have I made? What blessings have I remained unthankful for? What if I die today? What am I taking back to my Lord?

Its a tough pill to swallow.

I’m scared.

Today is not a day of celebration for something I had no control over; rather for me, it’s a day of regret and sorrow for everything I had control over.

Last year at this time I was unemployed, living with my parents, driving a broken down car with no AC, with hopes and dreams about becoming a father.

Fast forward one year, just one year, and Allah has blessed me with an amazing job, a new house, a new car, and one of my greatest joy of all: my little man, Ibraheem.

Subhanallah. How much Allah has blessed me with and how little I have done to show my gratitude to Him.

Oh Allah, I praise and glorify you, knowing that I can never do justice in it. I thank you oh Allah for every blessing which I am aware of and that which I am not, knowing that I could never do justice in it. Oh Allah, indeed You are the protector of the believers and you never dissapoint us. Oh Allah, be pleased with me and all of us, for verily I am pleased with You as my Lord.

To my wife, my friend, my companion in this life and the next… thank you.  I don’t say it enough and I don’t show it enough, but you are that rare treasure that came into my life that has been my backbone since day one. Through all the difficulties you remained patient and by my side and you never complained. You are that blessing which I have not thanked Allah enough for, so thank you oh Allah for her and thank you Nadia for just being you. Forgive me for my shortcomings and I promise I’ll try harder.

As I tread this path again, day by day, getting closer to my end, I realize I have alot to still do. May Allah put barakah in the years to come.

This got a bit emotional and long. Meh 🙂


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